Heart Eyes – Newcomers might find it entertaining -

Heart Eyes had me hooked from the moment I saw “Valentine’s Slasher.” Without even watching the trailer, the cast and synopsis immediately gave me vibes of Valentine (2001) and My Bloody Valentine, which had me all in. The opening kill set the tone—ferocious, gory, and exactly what I wanted from a holiday-themed slasher.

Unfortunately, that initial excitement didn’t last. The film quickly lost its momentum, turning into more of a chick flick than a slasher. The kills—arguably the most important part of any slasher—started happening off-screen, stripping away any real tension or payoff. When we did finally get more on-screen deaths, they lacked any real shock factor.

The one highlight was the drive-in cinema scene, which at least tried to inject some much-needed energy into the film. But even that couldn’t undo the damage of what came before. Long, drawn-out conversations—like one that dragged for nearly ten minutes—killed any sense of urgency. What could have been a fun, fast-paced slasher ended up feeling like a chore to sit through. My wife and I were both counting the minutes until it was over.

This is probably a good entry-level horror film for younger audiences sneaking in their first scary movie, but seasoned horror fans should stay far away. Newcomers might find it entertaining, but for those of us who love a proper slasher? This was a letdown.

By the halfway mark, I was practically begging for Cupid’s arrow to put me out of my misery.